Actual Signs Page 6
~*~
PAGE 6
AND YET STILL MORE
SIGNS OF THE TIMES
~ Actual signs as reported ~
~*~

 
Lost,
Brown leather suitcase,
by little old lady with
brown leather handles
An Ad in classified newspaper 

 
On a truck owned
by a company that
erects steel buildings
LET US HELP YOU WITH YOUR NEXT ERECTION

 
On a food vendor
in the Delta Airlines Terminal
at JFK airportin NY
Chocolates, Candies,
Edibles

 
An Italian restaurant in
Pleasantville, NY which makes
home deliveries in vans 
(Translation: wedges are
subs, submarines sandwiches
on long thick rolls)
We deliver pizza,
food, and wedges

 
In a beauty shop window
~*~
Hairstyling by
William Baldi
~*~

 
 In bridal shop window 
~*~
WEDDING DRESSES FOR SALE
~ ALL OCCASIONS ~
~*~

 
SO MANY CATS
AND
SO FEW RECIPES
Bumper sticker

 
THOU SHALT NOT PARK
Sign on a street in front of a church

 
NEVER MIND
THE DOG,
BEWARE
OF THE OWNER
On a front gate

 
REPORT
ALL LEAKS
In a building on the UCLA
campus there are signs
over all urinals in the 
men's room

 
In the Red Dog Saloon in Juno, Alaska: 
If our food, drinks and service aren't up
to your standards,
please lower your standards

 
Church Parking lot sign
near a popular shopping
area says
NO PARKING
SINNERS WILL BE TOWED!

 
On the side of a cesspool truck
YOUR ---- IS OUR
BREAD AND BUTTER

 
YOU MAKE IT,
WE TAKE IT
On the side of the same
cesspool truck

 
Why walk around half-alive
For $950 we can bury you
At a Mortuary

 
MINORS UNDER 21 YEARS OF AGE WILL NOT BE SERVED
Official NJ State Liquor
Authority sign for all
establishments that
serve alcoholic liquor
(I've never met
a MINOR over 21)

 
CATS NEUTERED_ $25.00
DOGS___________ $50.00
SENIORS _____  half-price
At a Veterinary Clinic

 
~ VASECTOMY ~
NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY!
Bumper sticker

 
PARADISE HOTEL
1 KM.
Outside a village cemetery in Turkey

 
BE AN ORGAN DONOR,
GIVE YOUR HEART TO JESUS!
In front of church
near Lititz, PA

 
FREE TRIPS
TO HEAVEN
INQUIRE WITHIN
A local church, in
Feasterville Pennsylvania,
on their outdoor
announcement board

 
On a propane
tank place
TANK HEAVEN FOR
LITTLE GRILLS

 
We have the best erections in town
Sign on construction truck

 
WE CATER WEDDINGS
On the side of are garbage truck

 
Sign in a dentist's office in Ellenville, N. Y.
BE TRUE TO YOUR TEETH
OR THEY WILL BE FALSE TO YOU

 
VISUALIZE USING YOUR
BUMPER STICKER
Bumper sticker

 
Radio ad of drug store
IF WE DON'T HAVE IT,
YOU DON'T NEED IT,
BUT IF YOU WANT IT,
WE'LL GET IT FOR YOU.

 
In the Bahamas at on
a tour to a fishing spot
Please don't drop your cigarette butts on the ground, our fish come out at night and smoke them and we are trying to get them to quit

 
HANG UP
AND DRIVE.
On a car rear window

 
Satisfaction guaranteed
or double your trash back
On a garbage
company truck

 
In a convenience store
on the door
of the women's restroom
Jobs Available!
Flexible hours
Great pay
Good benefits
APPLY INSIDE

 
Bubba's Burgers
We relish your buns
In Ouahu

 
I never get lost,
everyone tells me
where to go.
On a car rear window

 
You Bend 'em
We Mend 'em
At a auto body
repair shop

 
Lawnmower shop
in Oklahoma City
Free lawnmower
with purchase
of cup of coffee
Coffee:  $125.00

 
In an Auto Parts Store
HELEN BACK IS IN CHARGE OF OUR CREDIT DEPT.
~*~
SO IF YOU ARE SEEKING CREDIT
GO TOO HELEN BACK!

 
Sign advertising a
service station/cafe in Texas
Eat,    Gas,
Clean Restrooms

 
On the interstate
Georgia state line
exactly 12.87 miles,
more or less

 
CRISP COON
FUNERAL PARLOR
In front of a funeral / crematory home,
in Florida

 
WATCH YOUR STEP
Outside of Warren County Courthouse, Front Royal, VA.



 
 
Make sure you see all the
ACTUAL SIGNS and MORE ACTUAL SIGNS
PAGE
ONE
PAGE
TWO
PAGE
THREE
PAGE
FOUR
PAGE
FIVE
PAGE
SEVEN

 

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"Tijuana Taxi"
Sequencer Don Carroll

  Revised... Constantly
Copyright © 2000 - 2011 Dennis Unfried

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