More Actual Signs IV
~*~
PAGE 4
YET STILL MORE
SIGNS OF THE TIMES
~ Actual signs as reported ~
~*~

 
If your wife can't cook-
don't divorce her
Keep her for a pet
and eat here!
At a roadside diner

 
At a small restaurant
Our ham sandwiches
are made from pigs
that made hogs
of themselves.

 
At a Funeral home
In our profession you don't have to like flowers,
They'll soon grow on you.

 
In Minnesota,
outside a restaurant
located by a big water dam
The Best Place to Eat
by a Dam Site

 
On a fence of a house
*
Jehovah's Beware..
Catholic Dog
*

 
In a dry cleaner
~*~
DIRTY CLOTHES ARE NOT BECOMING YOU.
THEY OUGHT TO BE COMING HERE.
~*~

 
NO TICKEE,
NO SHIRTY
In a dry cleaner

 
NO MONEY
LAUNDRYING HERE,
PLEASE EMPTY YOUR
POCKETS
In a dry cleaner

 
FOR LIFE'S LITTLE PROBLEMS,
VISIT OUR HEMORRHOID CLINIC
Old sign on billboard
in PA

 
We cheat the other guy
and pass the savings
on to you
In Chicoot Charlie's Bar
in Anchorage, AK

 
In a Restaurant

 
In Taoist temple in Beijing, China
Please do not spit everywhere

 
On marquee of Seattle Jewish Community Center
Hebrew Yoga Self-Defense Classes

 
NO EXIT
FIRE ESCAPE
On the same door
at a pancake shop

 
Eventually Yours
At funeral parlor

 
NO
BEACH
ACCESS
PERMITTED
VEHICLES
ONLY
A posted sign on an upgrade bathing beach in NJ.

 
ANNUAL BOARD MEMBERS BANQUET
SATURDAY, MARCH 4TH
HAY AND STRAW AVAILABLE
In Georgetown, Ky.
on the marquee
of a Farm Supply
Business.

 
Time Wounds All Heels!
On a shoe-repair shop

 
Do you know what
color your car is?
Let us wash it
so you can tell.
At our local car wash

 
NO
PARKING
Towing Enforced
Don't Even
THINK
You
Are Going
To
Park Here!
Two signs right next
to each other
at the grocery store
parking lot

 
Baptist Church
A. Little, Pastor
On a sign in a small town in Wisconin
the Pastor of the local Baptist church
was named Arlo Little,
he was a very short man.
On the church sign it said

 
In front of a church
Know Jesus ..... Heaven
No Jesus .............. Hell

 
Satisfaction guaranteed or double your rubbish back
On a private trash
pickup service's truck

 
You must be able
to read English
in order to sit in this row
At the emergency exit row of an airplane

 
Sign in Salt Lake City Business window
Vendors Welcome!!
With a $50.00 cover charge

 
Our credit manager is Hellen Pay
If you want credit
Go To Hellen Pay
Sign in Bar (beer pub)
in Nephi Utah

 
A bumper sticker
on a company repair truck
GET YOUR NUTS
OFF WITH
SNAP ON TOOLS

 
On a garbage truck
in Sudbury MA
We'd Love
to get our hands
on your can

 
Now hiring
losers
   c
A sign outside a Taco Bell
to advertise that they were hiring.
It was supposed to say "Now hiring closers" but the "c" had fallen off.

 
Seven Days Without A Slice Of Our Pizza, Makes One Weak
In front of a pizzeria
in Utica, MI.

 
In Bradford County, PA
at a restaurant
T-Bone 50 cents,
with meat $8.95

 
Keep honking,
I'm reloading.
A bumper sticker on a car

 
Preserve wildlife,
throw a party.
At the zoo

 
Were sorry if you were
clearly miss-understood,
it happens
At a store

 
On a store front
If your clock doesn't tick,
tock to us.

 
In a auto repair shop
Cash, Visa, Mastercard and checks
gladly accepted for repairs.
If you will be needing credit
please go to Helen Waite

 
On the truck and shop
sign of the
Hoist and Jack Repair
in Freeport, New York
WE CAN HELP YOU
GET IT UP

 
With a photo of a man
smashing a toaster oven
to pieces
an electrician had a slogan
Streifert Electric
If we can't fix it,
we'll fix it
so nobody else can!

 
We weld anything
except the crack of dawn
and a broken heart.
At a welding shop
In Pearl, Ms.

 
We are the last ones
to let you down
At a Funeral Home

 
If you got em
floss em
In window of dentist office



 
 
Make sure you see all the
ACTUAL SIGNS and MORE ACTUAL SIGNS
PAGE
ONE
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TWO
PAGE
THREE
PAGE
FIVE
PAGE
SIX
PAGE
SEVEN

 

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"Brown Eyed Girl"
Sequencer Steve Day

  Revised... Constantly
Copyright © 2000 - 2011 Dennis Unfried

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