Actual Signs Page 2

~*~
~ MORE ~
SIGNS OF THE TIMES
~ Actual signs as reported ~
~*~

Thirty-eight years
on the same spot

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners

In a Florida Parking Lot

STUPIDITY
IS NOT A HANDICAP.
Park elsewhere!

At a number of military bases

Restricted to Unauthorized Personnel

In a non-smoking area...

If you're smoking,
you'd better be on fire

In a funeral parlor

Ask about our layaway plan.

In the vestry of a
New England church

Will the last person to
leave please see that
the perpetual light is
extinguished.

If you can't read this,
it's time to wash your car.

In front of a New Hampshire car wash

No jumping from the lift. Survivors will be prosecuted.

On a ski lift in
New Mexico

Let's see who can go downhill the fastest

A sign advertising a Company wide skiing race

Door Alarmed

Window frightened

Official sign near door
*
Hand printed sign nearby

At a "greasy spoon" restaurant

Women are not served here...
You have to bring your own.

In a restaurant
in England

Guys:
No shirt, No service
~*~ ~*~
Girls:
No shirt, No charge

Slow Parking Ahead

RESTROOMS
~*~
Please wait for
hostess to seat you.

Two signs found
on top of one another
in a country kitchen

Children left unattended will be towed at parents expense.

On a parking lot pole

Shoplifters will be beaten over the head with an organic carrot

In a health food store

Ask about our plans for owning your home

In the offices of
a loan company

We will sell gasoline
to anyone in a glass container

At a Santa Fe
gas station

Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices
and workmanship..

On a Maine shop

Good clean dancing
every night but Sunday

In a Los Angeles dance hall

In a clothing store

Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks

No children allowed

In a Florida maternity ward

Mental
Health Prevention
Center

In a New York
medical building

In a Pennsylvania cemetery

Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any
but their own graves

Don't kill your wife.
Let our washing machine
do the dirty work.

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store

In the window
of an Oregon store

Why go elsewhere
and be cheated
when you can come here?

Road sign seen on the island of Cyprus (translation of the Greek)

Caution:
Road Slippery from Grapejuice

~ No trespassing ~
without permission

On the grounds
of a public school

We dispense with accuracy

In a New York drugstore

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store

15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!

For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church

On a New York convalescent home

Our hardware runs
better without
WINDOWS!!!

An Ad for a
BMW 328i convertible with the roof and all the windows down.

Trespassers
will be prosecuted to the
full extent of the law
~ Sisters of Mercy ~

On the wall of
a Baltimore estate

On a billboard
advertising a new restaurant in Rancho Cordova, California

Samari Sushi
a Rare Experience!

Outside the entrance
gate to a cemetery
in the Town of
Tonawanda, NY

No Planting
Without Permission

A tow truck company..... sign says
~~
(a "hooker" is a nickname for tow trucks)

GIVE US A CALL
WE HAVE THE BEST HOOKERS AROUND

On the mirror of a beautician's station

I will curl up
and dye for you.

On a shopping mall
marquee

Archery Tournament
- Ears pierced -

On a Tennessee highway

When this sign is under water,
this road is impassable.

In a pet food store

~ WARNING ~
All dogs on premise are
tatooed or micro-chipped

SMILE
by now your picture
has been taken at least 2 times.
Please don't shoplift.

In a department store

Make sure you see all the ACTUAL SIGNS and MORE ACTUAL SIGNS
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"Chances Are"
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